Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
