You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
