Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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