I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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