It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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