I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
