I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
