your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
