i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
