Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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