we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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