just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
