Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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