you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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