I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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