Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
