There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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