Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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