i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
