i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
