I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
