return my video game
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
