In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
