brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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