I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
you never un-have a 4some
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
