how can u be prego again
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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