yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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