So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
