I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Are we still banned from the library?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize