Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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