I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
