I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
