Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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