my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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