He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
