'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
