Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
