Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
