So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
