just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Watching her eat just hurts me
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
