So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
