wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
