I wanna passion pit in your ass
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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