i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
