Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
