I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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