so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
