those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He passed out mid-signature
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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