I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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