very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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