Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
