Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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