But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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