I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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