Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
as a side note pls kill me
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
