he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
